So after I got to the end of part one I took a deep breath. Wow that was a lot and yet there are still 4 more keys of TJEd to write about. I asked my self. Why? Why write all this out. Why possibly bore people or have people think that your telling them what to do or think? "Well" I said to my self, because yes I talk to myself don't you. " Wasn't the point of this whole blog to document our journey. Won't it be helpful to be able to look back and see what your thoughts where. Why you chose this path and how you were implementing it?" Why yes self it is. So with out further ado, Part TWO!
5. Quality, not Conformity
When doing work, play, cooking anything really one should strive to do their best. It's not about living up to someone else expectations or what you think you should do or be like. It's about doing a good, complete job. Honestly if you go back to some of my post I edit them over and over. I'm not a great writer. I do edit before I publish but I know I miss A LOT. So, I reread them, make changes, add things as needed to make points clearer.
So in teaching and leading our littles it's about helping them to learn that doing it well is more important than getting it done. NO, this doesn't mean quiting or not working. It means setting them up to be able to do their best. Also not accepting them not doing their best. Letting them know you are there to support them but that they can do it. Knowing your child helps you help them. If they are not doing their best take time to reconnect and find out why, so they can go back to the task and nail it.
When I clean with Little Miss and Wee One it looks different for each one because they are at different ability levels. If Little Miss is helping vacuum and misses a bunch of food by a table leg I note it. I'll say " Uh oh Thomas(Little Miss), Kurbey (the Vacuum) missed the coal in the forest." I remind her the task isn't finished. Ok I bet your looking at this and say well my almost 4 year old would go " yeah but I am done." Well yeah sometimes mine is too. So I look her in the eye and I say " Ok, but I want us to complete the task so our house is a clean safe place for all of us. Do you want to use the hose or shall I?" What she seams to be getting is that it's going to be done right and completely. Her Mom isn't going to stand for incomplete. How I know it works. When I or my partner is sweeping or vacuuming on our own Little Miss pipes up " Mama or Papa, you missed this over here." Some times added " Can I get it?" or " Here you go."
Later this transfers to crafts, coloring pages, written term papers. You have to remember your laying a foundation. YOU and your Partner are setting a tone.
6. Simplicity, not Complexity.
This to me follows the engineering philosophy of K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simple Stupid. Why go purchase a curriculum for hundreds of dollars with tons of componants when you can read books from the library, act them out, memorize Mother Goose and color. Yes it's about cost but it's also about the stuff. Do you really need all that stuff in kits to learn? I'd think so.
For generations we have learned by sharing knowledge orally, read to each other and written down what we thought. Couldn't blogging even be a modern example.
7. You, Not them.
"Set the example. The best mentors are continually learning and pushing themselves. Read the classics. Study hard." Oliver DeMille A Thomas Jefferson Education.
Again, In everything we do as the parent, educator and mentor WE are modeling. We set the tone, the example. WE show them the value of the education, cleaning their room, putting away their toys through reading, keeping our room clean and putting away our things. Even having relationships in healthy ways as we hope they will when they get older.
It's a lot of pressure and work but we are up to it. I truly believe this is what we are to do if we want to be solid parents and raise people who are strong.
8.Secure, Not Stress.
This is a new key for TJEd and I hope to see more on it. I struggle with some of what I have read and heard from TJEd blogs and speakers on parenting as well as how to entice kids to do school work. I believe education and the security of a loving family is it's own reward. Prizes, intimidation, physical discipline do not make an independent critically thinking person who has the confidence and courage to do what is best. It creates the Leaders we see in todays politics. Ones that have skeletons in their closets and can be bought by corporations or lobbyists. It creates the young woman that stays with the not so nice boyfriend since he did get her that new designer bag, he loves her. Or even the young man that heads to university wanting to belong so binge drinks at a frat party cause everyone else is doing it.
I think these examples aren't extremes I personally can tell you names and show you pictures, and data to prove it. It starts at home. It starts at birth with the connection YOU give your babe. It's how YOU teach the toddler to deal with it's frustration, hitting and biting. It's how you teach the school age child to work, learn, create, try new things, make and sustain friendships or deal with the bully.
For more on my parenting beliefs see my What Parenting means to me.
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