I am not an Island or a boat out at sea

Well, non of us are.

You see I am coming to realize that this "home schooling journey" is as much,(if not at times more) about me than my littles. It's about having confidence, realizing I am not alone in my wacky way of thinking or doing things. Yet, I have to also truly get that  it is just about them. Their educational needs, not my fulfillment of some goal or ideal. How will they learn best to be the best people they can become?

So again you might be saying, " What the Blog?" Well, see none of us are alone in our doubts, concerns or journey.  I struggle too. I think it's the beauty of blogs and really why I write this publicly and not in a personal note book.

Where we are now.

Little Miss. Man she is amazing and growing fast. She is at the age where she wants to go to school. She wants to learn. YET and it's a big YET. She doesn't want to be told how or what to do. She's 4 years 2 mo. That is a big shift toddler to school aged kido. Man oh man let me tell you it is rocking her world for a loop. One minute Miss Independence next she is on my back in the sling, needing the physical touch.

My Babe. Now she is in full toddler mode. She is bright and has a big sister so she is amazing. Some times the amazing is in acts like putting together puzzles or Mr Potato head, dancing to a favorite song as she sings all the words in her own special way. Other times it's seeing that sister is jealous or wants something and understanding that she can inter-fear or not trade. She is learning she can emotionally impact the world and people around her. It's truly amazing to get to see this mind/ world shift.

So with all the change what is a mama to do?

Take deep breaths, be patient, love, maintain boundaries, listen, get frustrated, yell a little, apologies, cry with them, remember that you have long term goals and cherish that they will only be this old, right now.

My Holiday Gift

Over the last few days I have been filled with great joy and given many gifts. Most of the gifts were received after frustration or conflict.

I learned how to better communicative and work with my Partner. How we CAN work towards the same goal, without me guiding everyone around me. That me trying to guide everyone is what tends to cause more stress and aggravation, not the task at hand.

My big just wants to be big. She is ready to strut that independence in the safety of her home and fears being judged or " in trouble." Simple reminders and checking in have been far more effective than direction. Cleaning up or Rewinding and trying again the best consequences. Guiding her head is no longer needed she know right from left and IS listening to me when I instruct her.

In short I need to trust and have faith in those around me. I need to hold in my hart that I am safe to trust, love and have peace. I, surprisingly do help set the tone. I am leading and they are following. Sometimes, it's my negative example.

It is YOU not Them.