I am not an Island or a boat out at sea

Well, non of us are.

You see I am coming to realize that this "home schooling journey" is as much,(if not at times more) about me than my littles. It's about having confidence, realizing I am not alone in my wacky way of thinking or doing things. Yet, I have to also truly get that  it is just about them. Their educational needs, not my fulfillment of some goal or ideal. How will they learn best to be the best people they can become?

So again you might be saying, " What the Blog?" Well, see none of us are alone in our doubts, concerns or journey.  I struggle too. I think it's the beauty of blogs and really why I write this publicly and not in a personal note book.

Where we are now.

Little Miss. Man she is amazing and growing fast. She is at the age where she wants to go to school. She wants to learn. YET and it's a big YET. She doesn't want to be told how or what to do. She's 4 years 2 mo. That is a big shift toddler to school aged kido. Man oh man let me tell you it is rocking her world for a loop. One minute Miss Independence next she is on my back in the sling, needing the physical touch.

My Babe. Now she is in full toddler mode. She is bright and has a big sister so she is amazing. Some times the amazing is in acts like putting together puzzles or Mr Potato head, dancing to a favorite song as she sings all the words in her own special way. Other times it's seeing that sister is jealous or wants something and understanding that she can inter-fear or not trade. She is learning she can emotionally impact the world and people around her. It's truly amazing to get to see this mind/ world shift.

So with all the change what is a mama to do?

Take deep breaths, be patient, love, maintain boundaries, listen, get frustrated, yell a little, apologies, cry with them, remember that you have long term goals and cherish that they will only be this old, right now.

Change Abounds

    It has been quiet a while since I have visited this space. Time did that weird thing where we hit hyper-speeds all while moving as if we were in some sort of jellylike dessert. We have experienced deaths, moving of friends, sending off our family doc and starting of a new job which also brought a host of other changes to our lives. Good things have happened too. We have reconnected with friends, enjoyed the PNW in Spring, celebrated a graduation, got tickets for another graduation and our FAVORITE Artist for a summer concert.

    In this time we have all grown and changed so much. Little Miss is physically, emotionally and developmentally growing by leaps and bounds. My Babe is now a full fledged toddler who loves music and coloring all over her body but especially her face. My amazing partner is in a job the challenges him. This is a great things because he is for one thing, hard to challenge and two so much happier when he is. As for me, I have been doing lots of emotional work. It's draining but very rewarding.

    So right now I am thankful. Truly Full of Thanks for my life, my partner, my children and the work I get to do everyday.

What does a leader look like?

Across culture, time, location and faith the coming together of people is our common thread. Humans by nature are social creatures. The degree to which each of us partake in community varies individually.

I think when we look at participating in community,religious groups or even family we have to set our agendas aside. As we lead we have to set aside our ego which is one of the hardest things for us to do. Well for me it is at least.

When I look at possessively influential historical leaders, I see similar attributes in there success. They all seam to realise that the movement, cause or mission they initialised isn't theirs. They do not own it. They gave it life, yes. They helped develop the frame work yes but they turn the implementation over to the participants.

In collage my Resident Director taught me so many amazing things. She was truly a mentor who's words I go back to time and again. When looking and working with community she helped me see that the role of an adviser or leader isn't to set a personal agenda but to facilitate the groups positive evolution.

Of course She went into meetings with an agenda and a direction but she listened. She knew what we created together would be better than what she had envision on her own. She had the frame work of the university but the community that was created was ours. It didn't belong to her, Resident Life or the University. It belonged to the community that lived there.

The activities we planned were the result of community assessment. Our job was to hear and empower others to act or participate. Important University required content happened in a way that got students not only to attend but have fun as they participated.

We met needs. We facilitated community. We all had a chance to thrive.

Right Now

Sitting:: in the hall typing as my little play and pour in the bath.

Thankful:: my Family is all home now safely.

Tired and Rested:: I got to sleep in and lay in bed BOTH Weekend days with my DH as Grandma watched the littles.

Excited:: for the big new things to come.

Amazed:: my little baby is ONE YEARS OLD!

Proud:: that little took her first steps surrounded by love.

Remembering:: to stay present even as I feel I have lots to catch up on after so much fun.

a peek into our home

Oh how I love them.