I love when one seaming little thing makes a big change. This week it's been in the form of meal planning. I was inspired by The Better Mom which I found through Friends and the tangled web Mr Z weaves. That site is not vegetarian so I needed to come up with our own plan. The download-able PDF or Excel sheet is AWESOME! Between there and Pintrest I have a good go to menu and recipes. I love how the planning and outlining makes each day simple. Also our meals have a wider variety, and seam healthier!
Food and what we eat is very important to us. We don't eat many high sugar and processed foods. I spend A LOT of time in the kitchen but mostly because I like it. Yet that time in the kitchen staring at the fridge, pantry, and Mr. Z site started taking a toll on the fam. So figuring out how to spend the more time engaging with the kidos and not figuring out what we were going to eat was important.
So due to the planning. Breakfast was earlier, I had time to help Mr Man with a shirt, played, read and danced with my littles all with minimal interruption to cook, clean, and put it all away.
Another key thing is that it is one less thing on my mind. It freed up brain space to focus on being the parent I wanted to be. Today we have had peace all day. With one minor exception. I growled at Big for chewing on her new Great Grandma made sweater. Then I realized I cared about the THING more than her. So I took a deep breath helped her change and gave her gum. Ahhh
This has created a lower stress environment! This one seaming little thing. Have you ever changed one thing and have had the results surprise you?
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
My Holiday Gift
Over the last few days I have been filled with great joy and given many gifts. Most of the gifts were received after frustration or conflict.
I learned how to better communicative and work with my Partner. How we CAN work towards the same goal, without me guiding everyone around me. That me trying to guide everyone is what tends to cause more stress and aggravation, not the task at hand.
My big just wants to be big. She is ready to strut that independence in the safety of her home and fears being judged or " in trouble." Simple reminders and checking in have been far more effective than direction. Cleaning up or Rewinding and trying again the best consequences. Guiding her head is no longer needed she know right from left and IS listening to me when I instruct her.
In short I need to trust and have faith in those around me. I need to hold in my hart that I am safe to trust, love and have peace. I, surprisingly do help set the tone. I am leading and they are following. Sometimes, it's my negative example.
It is YOU not Them.
I learned how to better communicative and work with my Partner. How we CAN work towards the same goal, without me guiding everyone around me. That me trying to guide everyone is what tends to cause more stress and aggravation, not the task at hand.
My big just wants to be big. She is ready to strut that independence in the safety of her home and fears being judged or " in trouble." Simple reminders and checking in have been far more effective than direction. Cleaning up or Rewinding and trying again the best consequences. Guiding her head is no longer needed she know right from left and IS listening to me when I instruct her.
In short I need to trust and have faith in those around me. I need to hold in my hart that I am safe to trust, love and have peace. I, surprisingly do help set the tone. I am leading and they are following. Sometimes, it's my negative example.
It is YOU not Them.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Communication is Key
Ever feel anxious? Like you have one million things to get done, organized, set up as well as places to go all at once. Then on top of all that your supposed to be respectful, kind to others needs/ wants and find time to relax.
Well this balancing act has been one of my greatest fails. I'm a nervous anxious wreck. I am disorganized, stressed, short and never give my family, especially my Partner down time.
Until today my Partner introduced me to project management. This I have to say this is amazing. Basically you take a monster task, break it down into it's components, then figure out the tools and time you will need to successfully complete the task. Next coordinate with peoples needed,plan the time frame and structure need to accomplish the goal. Finally EXECUTE!
Today this took us 35mins to coordinate our elfing endeavors. He mapped out a time table across the top of the window and then a left hand column wrote goal and tasks. Be broke it down, assigned roles figured out how much time we needed. Four and a half hours later we have almost everything done, STRESS FREE! Amazing. No anxiety, anger, resentment and we have had time to do other things at the same time.
I am thankful beyond words for his help. It's more than a crating a rhythm because we had a goal. We had required content that needed to be respectfully integrated into our rhythm.
Well this balancing act has been one of my greatest fails. I'm a nervous anxious wreck. I am disorganized, stressed, short and never give my family, especially my Partner down time.
Until today my Partner introduced me to project management. This I have to say this is amazing. Basically you take a monster task, break it down into it's components, then figure out the tools and time you will need to successfully complete the task. Next coordinate with peoples needed,plan the time frame and structure need to accomplish the goal. Finally EXECUTE!
Today this took us 35mins to coordinate our elfing endeavors. He mapped out a time table across the top of the window and then a left hand column wrote goal and tasks. Be broke it down, assigned roles figured out how much time we needed. Four and a half hours later we have almost everything done, STRESS FREE! Amazing. No anxiety, anger, resentment and we have had time to do other things at the same time.
I am thankful beyond words for his help. It's more than a crating a rhythm because we had a goal. We had required content that needed to be respectfully integrated into our rhythm.
Monday, December 12, 2011
And I fade into the background
In our family learning to work is very important. We work at keeping our home clean and safe. We work at cooking, creating, listening and I think most importantly at my kidos age, playing.
Learning to work is important for many reasons. The focus we develop, love of challenges, figuring out solutions, working together/ group dynamics, taking turns all comes from work. It's something I think our society shies away from. Work becomes a dirty word. Connotations of taking childhood away and forcing an adult world come immediately to mind.
Yet just now I faded into the background to let my two littles do the work they needed to do. It's the work of Children to process their world and how they want to operate in it. It gives them time to process all the boundaries and structure we impose. Seriously I have to remember even in keeping them safe they have to yield a lot of control. Car seats, holding hand in a parking lot, stay away from the street,don't play with the blinds cord the list goes on and on.
With in play my Big is creating and dealing with social relationships. Her train are apologizing taking turns. My little is pulling to a stand, sorting toys, pilling and chattering. It's only for 10 mins at the most but without me they practiced living and participating in an adult world.
" excuse me mama." And then I am needed.
Learning to work is important for many reasons. The focus we develop, love of challenges, figuring out solutions, working together/ group dynamics, taking turns all comes from work. It's something I think our society shies away from. Work becomes a dirty word. Connotations of taking childhood away and forcing an adult world come immediately to mind.
Yet just now I faded into the background to let my two littles do the work they needed to do. It's the work of Children to process their world and how they want to operate in it. It gives them time to process all the boundaries and structure we impose. Seriously I have to remember even in keeping them safe they have to yield a lot of control. Car seats, holding hand in a parking lot, stay away from the street,don't play with the blinds cord the list goes on and on.
With in play my Big is creating and dealing with social relationships. Her train are apologizing taking turns. My little is pulling to a stand, sorting toys, pilling and chattering. It's only for 10 mins at the most but without me they practiced living and participating in an adult world.
" excuse me mama." And then I am needed.
Monday, December 5, 2011
A Little less Conversation, A Little More Action
Ever feel as a parent that you say the same thing over and over and over again? I think in general the answer is YES!
Today in the car I had a brief ah yes moment. My Big asked me to tell her yet another story about her two favorite characters. This has been her constant request for the last two weeks or so.
I suddely relised two things. One I keep telling her later with out giving a specified time. Two, she asks when there is a pause, lull nothing going on. She isn't really asking for a story but interaction!
So I give my theory a test drive. I say " Big, Momma isn't going to tell a H/C story for the rest of the way home. I'll talk with you though. Hey check out the ice on those trees! Why is there Ice on the trees to the left and not the right?" This lead to a long talk about the sun, earths rotation, fog, winter, ice, shadows, sun in our eyes and how hot we felt in the car even with the heat now off. It was our whole drive. No more tell me stories we were engaged.
Then tonight my DH and I were trying to get Big out the door to get a tree. We finally decided to break down her tasks; socks, shoes, coat out the door. Then gave her a time frame. We did what we needed to do and didn't say a word more other than you have one min left for X task. Tada! OUT the door not problems.
So when I say more action less talk. I mean more meaningful direct dialog and doing or modeling. With far less standing, ordering, nagging , repeating or feeling angry.
Today in the car I had a brief ah yes moment. My Big asked me to tell her yet another story about her two favorite characters. This has been her constant request for the last two weeks or so.
I suddely relised two things. One I keep telling her later with out giving a specified time. Two, she asks when there is a pause, lull nothing going on. She isn't really asking for a story but interaction!
So I give my theory a test drive. I say " Big, Momma isn't going to tell a H/C story for the rest of the way home. I'll talk with you though. Hey check out the ice on those trees! Why is there Ice on the trees to the left and not the right?" This lead to a long talk about the sun, earths rotation, fog, winter, ice, shadows, sun in our eyes and how hot we felt in the car even with the heat now off. It was our whole drive. No more tell me stories we were engaged.
Then tonight my DH and I were trying to get Big out the door to get a tree. We finally decided to break down her tasks; socks, shoes, coat out the door. Then gave her a time frame. We did what we needed to do and didn't say a word more other than you have one min left for X task. Tada! OUT the door not problems.
So when I say more action less talk. I mean more meaningful direct dialog and doing or modeling. With far less standing, ordering, nagging , repeating or feeling angry.
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